The 3C’s of The Body Apocalypse

Intense title. Listen up.

Reader beware. You may not know it, but you are so close to the body apocalyse, a complete break down of your body brought on upon chronic amount of time in the realm of the 3C’s.

Three areas that may even consume your life at this very instant!

And they are:

The chair, the computer, and the car.

Stay too long and you may have a spine as crooked as a C.

Now, how hard is it to avoid this?

I am aware of this predicament and still find myself spending too much time in a chair with the computer working on the business. AHHHHH!

Here is my to-do to stay away from the zombie apocalypse…no, wait, the 3C apocalypse…the corporate apocalypse that is coming to consume you with its tantalizing commercials and coffee brands. (Pretty sure, if you spend a lot of time in the 3C’s you are on a collision course for the corporate apocalypse which breeds zombies, which then allows them to take over the world with their overwhelming amount of power and resources.

Now, that’s intense.

Again, here is my to do to avoid the 3C corporate apocalypse brought to you by macy’s, apple, and ford…

Those bastards! (for undoubtedly creating brands and products loved by all…)

Chair – hard hard hard hard to do. Our bodies are so warped from the time when we were children and forced to sit in those awful desks. I remember, I used to be the picture perfect model of posture, and then they tortured me with mind numbing english literature and I just slouched and acted cool in the back and fidgeted. Yes I just said fidgeted!

May I suggest for future generations to increase physical education in grades: k-12…(you’ll be too tired to fidget and that will help balance out the time spent in the chair. I am a proponent of the swiss ball seat (that doesn’t start with a C.) That way you can see how long you can sit on it before wanting to stand up…Because you know I am on to something here, because standing up is even better!

We are goddam bipeds, with the power of endurance!!!! We”ll walk 10 plus miles no problem (screw you tough mudder!). And when you stand up, seriously…clench your butt. It will tilt your anteriorly tilted pelvis into a neutral position. (I would say the majority of people that live in north america and spend any amount of time sitting have an anteriorly tilted pelvis). So sit on a swiss ball. Throw out your comfortable slouchy chair, unless it is an ergonomic chair which allows you to sit up straight. In that case be mindful of not sitting too long. Trust me on this one. Lordosis may be cool cause it makes your butt stick out and give you the appearance of a “ghetto booty”, but long term that is just going to wrench on your lower back and even more.

Computer – see above. Maybe even take this a step further with the slouching or the hunch back, goddam that computer is so enticing with all its information and ease of use. Keep those shoulder blades back, chest up, sit up tall, and….I just took all the fun out of the computer. How the hell are you going to learn optimally sitting up straight like that? Get an ergonomic chair? Get a bigger screen? Just take breaks more often, switch your posture. Or, may I suggest the creme de la creme. Intermittent stretching.

Cue the music.
Every 10 minutes. Do a hip flexor stretch, and a chest stretch. 30 secs each side. Bam 2 minutes. Intemittent stretching. Repeated for emphasis.

Car – I don’t see how you are getting away from this one. Just remember good posture and be more active in your free time – say bootcamp for instance, because we really make an effort to ensure a holistic service all under 1 roof all under 1 hour. 3-5x/week, where you wont overwork muscles like the chest and being even more internally rotated, where we have a 3-1 ratio of back exercises to chest exercises to help prevent and correct kyphosis (rounded upper back), where we always do a hip flexor stretch, and do lots of deadlifts, kettlebell swings, monster walks, and squats.

Because I’ll give you monster walks all day if it can help avoid the zombie apocalypse 😉

Josh Saunders
The Bootcamp Effect